True Fasting

      So, what does CherishPayne mean? As of now, I am still debating that to myself. It is a name I always fancied, and I want to use it in one of the stories I am writing. At first, it was going to be in its own tale, one that seemed very much like a Tim Burton world. However, I changed my mind on that, and found it easier to just include it in something else. Cherish Payne was a name for the one character, but it may turn out to be more of a riddle if I actually use it. Sorry to disappoint anyone who was desperately curious about the mystery of my blog name. ;) Even I am still figuring it out.

      We shall now commence into a different subject. As to some of the events of today, I got up this morning and prepared myself some Starbucks coffee. Then later, after having some lunch, I randomly gazed at all the books I own that were sitting in my room. It may be hard to understand why doing such a thing could bring joy into my heart; but when you are a book lover, there is nothing like it! =)

      Anyways, it was after this specific moment that I snatched my old Bible up, and went to have a read, my mug of coffee still warm in my hands. I have a habit of flipping through the Bible just to see what I’ll find (and in this Bible, I have so much highlighted or underlined that I couldn’t possibly miss anything). Then, my eyes were caught on a passage in Isaiah that made me think more deeply on the matters of fasting. Here is what I read:

      “Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for a man to humble himself? Is it only bowing one’s head like a reed and for lying on sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord? Is not this kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?  Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter – when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.”         - Isaiah 58:5-8

      How are we fasting? In reading this, I was taken back to the times when I used to do the 30 hour famines at my church, and we would not eat anything for all those hours. It was painful, and we were counting down the minutes till we got to eat again. Now, when I recall those days, I realize that those moments were not just about us getting closer to God; it was about getting closer to the kids that we were fasting for. All those people who were dying because they had nothing to eat, and were drinking filthy water: we were fasting for them. It was our way of getting closer to these people, and to feel a piece of the pain that they experience every day. That is true fasting. It’s not about us; it is about others. We fast so we can pray and lift up the chained, and the poor. Fasting for ourselves, after reading these verses, becomes rather silly. If we are only fasting for our own needs, it doesn’t change anything. Say, you decided to fast from Facebook. That’s all good and such; but after the fast is done, what do you do? You go back on Facebook. So, you see, it doesn’t really do anything for us. It’s almost like we are trying to purify ourselves, thinking God will be pleased. We’re better off in just believing that God has already cleansed us than to think we have to keep trying to be good.

      I believe that is my main thought of the day that I wanted to share. I thought it would be worthwhile, in case we ever come to question what true fasting is, or if it is worth it. Also, no worries, CherishPayne will one day become something special in my stories. I’ve just got to find the right place to put it. =)

Time to Live it Up

      “DJ, turn it up! It’s about damn time to live it up! I’m so sick of being so serious! It’s making my brain delirious!”

      Granted, I’m not a huge Kesha fan; but I do like a couple of her songs. The one quoted above happens to be one of my favorites. Whenever I listen to it, I feel like I can do anything, I can conquer the world!

      This makes me wonder whether we are all being too serious in our everyday lives. It makes me curious if this is the reason that so many of us are not satisfied. I’m not saying we should go out, get drunk, and make ourselves useless. There are many ways for us to enjoy life; but do we grasp them once they are exposed?

      You see, I’m at a stage in life where I want to make the most of what I do; I want to live in an adventure story. Unfortunately, most of the responses we get about growing up tend to be negative. “Well, you need to do this and that; and then later, you’ll do this and that. And that’s your life story.” Listen! We don’t have to follow the typical way of living! The routine doesn’t always have to be the same day after day after day.

      In case some of you have not noticed, I’m quite a fan of stories. I love to read them, I love to write them, and I love to imagine them. I cannot help but wonder if the very reason we love these tales so much is because they bring to reality something that we don’t have and we somehow hope will come to be.  When I read, I’m thrown into another time, another world, where I can do anything! I can be the hero, the damsel in distress, the hooded figure who has a secret mission. No matter what it is, I can be all of them. It’s the journey we all desperately want; but we have no idea how to get there.

      Whether people believe me or not, I’m willing to say that those things could happen. They are not lost in the wind. Maybe we’re too lazy, or too scared. The only reason we don’t live an adventure is because we don’t want to get hurt. These are just assumptions, mind you. I’m only saying what’s on my heart; but I pray that somehow, in some way, I can be part of something far bigger than anything I could have possibly conjured up on my own. Let’s live our dreams, no matter what the world says!

Tests to Test

   There is nothing like being with family; and there is nothing like being with friends who know and love you just as though they are your family. I got to spend some lovely time with two of my sisters this week, and I enjoyed it very much! It is in moments such as those that I wish they would never end. There always seems to be an adventure in the events that are not entirely planned.
   Well, as I promised in the last blog entry, I would explain the name and quote on my blog. As for today, I will explain the quote (for the name may take more time). The quote is from a poem I wrote for one of my classes at college this past spring semester. I had made up that line for the longest time, yet I was not sure what to use it for. Then, the opportunity came up, and I realized I could use that sentence in a poem. The poem itself was an expression of what I had gone through in that year of college, which was a hard year for me. However, those difficulties cannot hold me down. Yes, they will and they still do. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am not bound by those chains unless I want to be.
   So, without further words to say, I'll let my poem speak for itself. I hope you all enjoy it, and get some encouragement from it!

  

“Safe in Being Hurt”                   :by Grace Vorisek

When I look back at what I was, I see one flesh.

Now, only scars remain, the ones from my old

Self. No matter how much I try to erase them,

They won’t leave, the mere touch being cold.

However, I’m thankful for those scars, that

Reminder of what I was. I can now look at all

Those bruises with joy, because they are my

Memory of the things I have learned to call,

Not my crutch, but my support. They will keep

Me standing up, when I feel like I’ve learned

Nothing, when in fact I have. That is the good

That comes from pain, we come back as sheep

To our Lord, because his home will always last.

In this place, reality takes hold, and I can gladly,

Cry ‘Here is my freedom! The incomprehensible

Feeling of hanging on edge, and falling fast!’

"The Beginning is the End is the Beginning."

Hello, bloggers!
   This is my first blog....but that would not be entirely true. I used to blog in the old days, when people actually cared to read what was on your mind for the day. Unfortunately, we are starting to lose that. I hope that in keeping a blog of my own, I won't lose the passion of writing (for it is still, in many different ways, my passion).
   You may be curious as to the title of this blog. It is the name of a song by the Smashing Pumpkins. I don't really listen to them, but ever since I heard that song on a movie trailer, it's never left my mind. It also makes me think of the dream I had last night in my sleep. It was great, but quite deep. I will not bother to actually explain everything that happened in this dream. It would be too long (trust me, I wrote it down on paper when I woke up, and it went to six pages!). However, the name of that song and my dream seem to match each other in a strange way. The things happening in my dream were the beginning of something terrible; but that horrible thing was the end to a new beginning. I love it when I have crazy dreams like that. I wish I had not woken up. It was getting too good!
   So, I guess at this moment, I am hoping that this blog will be of use, and entertaining. I will now continue to listen to OneRepublic, and I will find an interesting way of explaining the name of my blog and the quote underneathe (for there are, of course, stories hidden in them as well). Have a lovely night!

                                                                                           Grace