"Painfully Limited"

      Earlier this afternoon, I was reading “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” while eating a rather unhealthy lunch. It has felt good to dive back into the books I’ve wanted to read, but lacked the necessary freedom for it at school. As the food was settling in my stomach, I picked up the book again and continued reading. The famous trio of teens was visiting a man, Xenophilius Lovegood, who they thought would give them some answers on a particular symbol that they kept seeing in certain books or places. The man, who was a bit loony to most, had worn a necklace with this mark on it at a different time in the book. When he explained how it represented the Deathly Hallows, three items that when put together would conquer death, one of the trio, Hermione, was adamant to the whole idea that the myth was false. In her mind, there was no way those objects could exist; there was no way to be a conqueror of death (even though in secret, she and her friends knew that they had one of the objects). What I thought was interesting was the man’s response to Hermione:

     

      “ ‘But,’ said Hermione, and Harry could hear her restraint starting to crack, ‘Mr. Lovegood, how can you possibly believe – ?’

      ‘Luna has told me all about you, young lady,’ said Xenophilius, ‘You are, I gather, not unintelligent, but painfully limited. Narrow. Close-minded.’”      (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, p. 410)

      I had to read this passage about two or three times, because I liked it so much. It struck a chord in me that continued to hum long after it had been plucked. It somehow rang true to my ears, and I found myself thinking about it long after my lunch was gone.

      Now, allow me to connect this thread of conversation between Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Mr. Lovegood to the world of Christianity (don’t cringe yet, because this will hopefully be worth your time). But first, let me say that in this moment, Hermione even reminded me of Susan Pevensie from the Narnia stories. Ah yes, I’ll bet you’re starting to get the drift now. Hermione would rather be led by logic, by what she knows and is certain of, over an idea that had not been proven real. Mr. Lovegood had no living proof that he knew those objects were existent, that the story behind the objects was real, and that there was even the slightest chance of finding them.

      So how does this unbelief stretch into another realm? I think we Christians have the terrible tendency to trust our logic over our belief. If there is something in the Bible that does not make sense, we either discard it or try to make it make sense in our view of sense….. right? And that is exactly where I think we can lose footing. There were just some things that Jesus’ disciples could not understand that their leader was telling them. It all, I’m sure, sounded like a cluster of incoherent English words. I’ll give a short glimpse into where I’m reading from:

      “On hearing it, many of his disciples said, ‘This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?’

      Aware that his disciples were grumbling about this, Jesus said to them, ‘Does this offend you? What if you see the Son of Man ascend to where he was before! The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life. Yet there are some of you who do not believe.’……

      ….From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.”     (John 6:60-66)

      This is where we might gasp, and exclaim, “Wait! There were more than twelve disciples?” Of course! Besides, we ought not to be counting just the ones who were with Jesus 24/7. Any believer is a disciple.

    So my point is ultimately this: Hermione couldn’t make sense of Mr. Lovegood’s words, and the disciples couldn’t make sense of Jesus’ words. Whereas later on in the story, Hermione finally wakes up to what she doubted, the disciples merely walk away. I can’t help but wonder if the disciples thought that they were smarter than Jesus, and that was why they left…

      I fear that we may be in that slot: we may be ‘not unintelligent’, but we could be ‘painfully limited.’ The reason our faith may seem to smolder under our feet could be because we won’t push ourselves over the limit; we won’t experience Jesus in a way that says, “I may not get you sometimes. I may think you’ve totally lost your marbles. I may try to outwit you, but in the end, I’d rather believe in your crazy tales than live a dull life filled with earthly knowledge.”

      I’m sure that even I may not be making any sense as I type this idea out. All I know is that I got a feeling, and I decided to follow it, even if it started to sound a bit mad. That’s okay. I think we are all meant to be mental at some point.

A Dream Between Europe and the States

      Although I have not been to the Outer Banks, N.C. in quite some time, I still carry the memory of that one vacation with me always. It was such a great time to be with friends and family, even if the time was short. I can still remember the grainy sand between my toes, the sun burning my back to a lobster red (not to mention the awkward white lines that ended up being on my skin because of my friend not rubbing the sunscreen lotion in.) and the soothing sound of the waves hitting the beach. All of this and more make this place in North Carolina a perfect spot for a get-away.

      All of these factors, however, are not the only moments I cherished. There was one afternoon where I sat in the sand, reading or listening to music. I took a long, hard glance at the ocean in front of me. My eyes wanted to penetrate the distance of that great body of water, but no matter how hard I tried, I knew it would never work. My mind still imagined it, though, as I recall thinking in that moment, There is another land, another world out there. Somewhere across this massive ocean, there are places I’ve always wanted to see. Maybe one day, somehow, I will be there, looking out at the ocean from the other side, knowing home is somewhere beyond.

      This is, I’m sure, one of many thoughts that could go through anyone’s minds. How we long to travel! How we wish to see the world! Sometimes, dreaming is the only way to make it real.

      In my case, dreaming was the only way to make it not only real, but actually possible. Yes, I can say this with confidence, because I’ve had the privilege this year of making it all happen (of course, my parents definitely get most of the credit for making it a reality). In the middle of my spring semester, I went on a school trip that headed to Ireland. I know that one of my fantasies has always been to see that place with my own eyes. To be quite frank, I hardly believed that it was happening, but sure enough, I was on that plane and was soon landing in Dublin.

      Now I could go on talking about all the fantastic things I got to do and got to see, but I feel like the most important thing for me to say now is this: I felt at home. Granted, their accents were sometimes a bit too thick for me to know every word they spoke, or that I actually got lost in Dublin. The thing is I have a lot of Irish background in my family. As much as there is all English in me, the Irish is pretty big too; going to that place made me feel like I was discovering a part of my past, a part of my family line. This isn’t to say that I actually found out anything about my family (in fact, one of the Irish names that I know is in my family has probably been long gone from that island for some time). What’s important is that, every time the classic Irish music was played, every time I drank tea in the morning, every time I walked into an old monastery, I became alive.

      Needless to say that eventually, those 10 days ended and I found myself back at school, my whole spring break used up. Whereas a lot of other students came back refreshed, ready to kick the rest of the semester off, I was getting rid of jetlag, not ready to do anymore work, or run around the campus to classes.

      I don’t regret the trip. Even if I was sorely tired when I returned to the States, I wouldn’t change any of my decisions. Going to Ireland was not only a wish come true, but a step out of my comfort zone. We all need those moments in our lives. We need to not be afraid of the ‘what if’s when we are uncertain what making a particular decision will cost us. I had every single ‘what if’ before I signed the papers for that trip. What if I can’t afford it? What if I use up a precious break without my family? What if I lose my passport and Euros before I get there? What if, what if, what if, it doesn’t matter! Just do it! Yes, there will come times where you must consider deeply what it will cost to make a choice like that, but sometimes we miss a big opportunity because of it. I probably won’t be making another big trip for a while, but I’ll be content with what I’ve got. Besides, I still need to work on my giant scrapbook to put all of my pictures from Ireland in and I’ve got to finished eating the Irish Whiskey Fudge I bought!