Where are you, Gentleman?

      The world of lovers is so complex in such a way that it’s messed up. People are continuously getting hurt by their partners. Bonds are thrown away as though they were nothing but an object. Emotions hang on the line. If we really, truly thought it over, dating is a waste of time. Love in that manner is a waste of energy. It makes me wonder whether we were truly made for anyone out there in the world…

      The specific question I asked myself this morning after I woke up was whether or not a friendship could exist where neither admitted their feelings to one another, but just kept their friendship alive. I mean, I know we fear to even let our true intentions out in the open. What would happen if we did? Is it possible that the person who you were always meant to marry is the one you’ve been friends with for years and years (even back to your childhood)? I want to believe that there is ‘the one’ out there for me; but knowing my standards of men, and my logic in dating hardly permit me to be with anyone for a short period of time. In fact, if we were not friends to begin with, there is no point in us dating. We don’t know one another.

      This just seems so silly to me right now, talking about the one subject that makes me the most frustrated and sick. One, because I see men as arrogant asses half the time, and two…well, maybe there isn’t another number. If there was, maybe it would all come down to respect of dating. It’s always a game to everyone. It’s no game to me. If I were to date, it would be because I’m seriously considering the idea that I’ll be married to that person one day. If dating is not this, I don’t want any part of it.

      Of course, my avid reading and writing of stories makes me pursue the old ways of living, of how the world of love ought to be. I’ll read about true gentlemen, to which I’ll get the response “Those kinds of men don’t exist anymore.” True; as far as I can, there are no gentlemen (especially in my peers). However, I firmly want to believe that somewhere deep down, some secret place inside them that they don’t know about, there is that kind of gentlemen there. It’s been waiting to come to the surface, to at last be born into society. Each man can be a gentleman…once they allow their selves to let go of the typical ways of boys.

      I know this subject probably came from a long conversation I had last night with a friend. We talked a lot about all this (and went into further detail, which I don’t have time to do at the moment). It was a good and refreshing talk. I’m so thankful for the friends that I have, even if they live far away. Honestly, I don’t know where I’d be without them. I’m also thankful for my family. They raised me well, and showed me what it really meant to love. I think that as long as I know that in general, I should have no fear of what lay ahead. I’ll wait for my gentleman, even if I have to wait a long time…