Being a Backstabber Without Knowing It

      I know I am just as guilty as anyone. Talking about people negatively, saying things behind their backs. I can't say that I have always been aware of this. It's new to me; but how did I come to find this out?
      That's easy. I found it out because of people I know doing precisely the same thing to me.
      How positive a comeback this is to the blogging world! Hello, blogspot! I'm going to dump the problems I have been facing this semester right onto your lap. Enjoy. Eat it up.
      Now let's get one thing straight. I'm not talking about the random people I run into every now and then. I could care less about what they think of me. If they've got a problem, that's fine. It's not like we talk. When it comes to the people I am close with, the people I've lived with, it's completely different. It has happened so much this semester that I am losing my patience. I don't feel safe in my own room at college anymore.
      How does one become a backstabber? Through selfishness. You can't be a backstabber when you care too much (at least in my head, this seems to be the case). When the world revolves around how you feel and what you want, all hell breaks loose.
      What are some causes for such selfishness? Right now, I could definitely blame men (or even women, if I had enough guy friends). They come into my friends lives, and then my friends don't give a care in the world about anyone else around them. Their whole world revolves around that guy. It hurts alot, mind you. When my friends ignore me, or shove me off quickly just because they have a significant other, it becomes extremely frustrating. Was the friendship fake to begin with?
      Second of all, I am sick and tired of people complaining and being inconsiderate to others (I will not throw out names, of course). It is hard to try and get rid of my picky habits of always being upset at something or someone when everyone else around me habors that emotional spirit and doesn't care to be rid of it. I am starting to think that that is the reason I have a harder time sleeping anymore. My teacher retold the simple phrase today of 'don't let the sun set on your anger.' It's so true, though! When we harbor anger after the evening, it affects our bodies through the night.
      And when I try to get a word in about it, I'm just told to shut up. They don't care. They are so desolved in their problems that anyone elses hurts don't matter. It's just 'me me me!'
      Speaking of anger and the sun, I really ought to stop this rant now. Granted, I'm still aching inside. I've got too much work to do, too many thoughts to think, too many hurts to heal; but I can't linger on them. It will only hurt worse. I can only pray to God that He will somehow open up these peoples heads, and make them aware of all the infliction they are throwing around. If I can't persuade them, who else will? (and I apologize for my lack of editing. I'm too tired to think about it right now.)